Friday, November 9, 2007

Outrageous, Harsh and, well, kind of Funny: Pravda.ru: “Condoleezza Rice’s anti-Russian stance based on sexual problems”

Сказать как есть: Say it like it is.
This is something that the Russians can be counted on to do. Many foreigners are shocked by the harsh remarks made by Russians. My teachers in school say things like, ”You look horrible today.” And my favorite of all incidents was when I was shopping for a sweater, and I pointed to the one I wanted to try on, and the shop attendant said, “No, you’re too fat for that.” That’s the Russian version of customer service–no beating around the bush. I took no offense and even had a good laugh, and thanked her for not wasting my time.
I learned to kind of love that harsh manner of talking and expressing(more often imposing) ones ideas. The great thing about Russians is that they don’t talk harshly about one another behind each other’s backs. They have some interesting beliefs and they feel it is their responsibility to bring you into the light. Russians are shy to “trash talk” but every once in a while you find an article like this one from Pravda.
I get such a huge kick out of reading from the newspaper Pravda. It was once the official propogator of Soviet Communism but since Yeltsin it has been reincarnated into a tabloid paper. They have select articles in English, and these are especially hilarious. I got a kick out of this one in particular. It is from the January 11, 2006 issue of english.pravda.ru. Here’s the link if you’d like to read the entire rant:
otherwise I’ll just give you the highlights:

Condoleezza Rice’s anti-Russian stance based on sexual problems”

By: Ярослава Крестовская

Ms. Rice’s criticism can be explained with the politician’s personal peculiarities. Why is Condoleezza Rice so fond of her “strict teacher” role? Is it her technique that she follows to stay in the center of political attention? The leader of the Liberal and Democratic Party of Russia (LDPR), Vladimir Zhirinovsky, expressed his opinion on the matter in an exclusive interview with Pravda.Ru.

”Condoleezza Rice released a coarse anti-Russian statement. This is because she is a single woman who has no children. She loses her reason because of her late single status. Nature takes it all.

”The civilized world needs to think about a decision when single politicians are not allowed to stay in power. This was a common practice in the Soviet political system. The matter of international relations is very subtle and exquisite. One single word or phrase may play an extremely important role in politics. This is not the place, where one can sublimate their personal sexual problems.

We are all seeing Condee in a new light. This guy is kind of outrageous but kind of tapping into some of the views we have, but are too PC to ever say out loud. That’s where a Russian bigot comes in handy. He can say frankly all the things that we were ashamed for thinking…
"Complex-prone women are especially dangerous. They are like malicious mothers-in-law, women that evoke hatred and irritation with everyone. Everybody tries to part with such women as soon as possible. A mother-in-law is better than a single and childless political persona, though.
This was left out of the English Translation:
Ведь она, как минимум, дочь родила, выполнив свою природную задачу. А незамужняя и бездетная, да еще в возрасте – это точно Баба Яга.
Afterall, a mother in law, at least bore a child(a daughter), thus fulfilling her purpose as a woman. But an unmarried, childless, middle-aged woman is a true Baba Yaga
Baba Yaga, the famous witch from Russian fairy tales. The author compares Rice to Baba Yaga in the Russian part above. Both single and childless women who are hungry for power, one who satisfies that need by tyrannizing politics the other eats small children. Which witch does which?
"Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex. She needs to return to her university and teach students there. She could also deal with psychological analysis.
”The true reason of Ms. Rice’s attack against Russia is very simple. Condoleezza Rice is a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men’s attention. Releasing such stupid remarks gives her the feeling of being fulfilled. This is the only way for her to attract men’s attention,” Vladimir Zhirinovsky said. "
The funniest part of this is not so much the article, but moreso the familiarity of it all. I heard such harsh oppinions expressed on many occasions sometimes about me(Katya: Janeychka! You must paint your fingernails! No man will ever want to marry you if you don’t!), about stay at home mothers(Many Russians: If a woman stays at home and doesn’t work, she is useless, and her husband will think she is boring and cheat on her) about divorced women (Nina: My father left us, but I can’t blame him, afterall, my mother got fat.) about my 24 year-old, single roommate (old man on the bus: You’re 24? Well, you’re still kind of pretty, you need to hurry and have a baby. You won’t be able to have a baby if you wait much longer. The bitterness of being single will eat your ovaries up). None of these notions can be scientifically proven, but it does make you wonder.